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pinkladyshopper
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Name: kiss
Country: United States
State: Mississippi
Metro: Madison County
Birthday: 10/10/1991
Gender: Female
Interests: spending time w/ friends, GOD, singing, SHOPPING DUH!! guys, choclate, math somtimes, sitting on the roof looking at the stars, talking on the phone, computer, MUSIC anykind but especially 3 DOORS DOWN!!! i love listening also and solving problems,writting!
Expertise: solving problems not my own but others, writing songs and short stories, music:piano,singing (just not in front of anyone),saxophone and learning guitar! fixing things and making things.
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Yahoo:  sunkissed10102001
AIM:  pinklady10102001
Member Since:
7/8/2005
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| how can your whole life get turned upside down in all of 20 min. ...??? as off 2 months ago, i had my whole life planned out. everything was finally perfect. (to good to be true huh?) well thats what i thought too but it was great. for once in my life there was no fighting, no searching, cuz i had everything right there. my dad and i finallly were talking agian, after years. we accually went a month like that. i had a great guy that loved me and thought i was going to loose months before but for some reason looked like it was working out. we didn't have to sneak around to see each other anymore, we could talk about everything. we could do anything. we shared so much. and stuff that i will never ever get back and that has changed me so much.for better or worse i don't know. but i know i am not the same person i was nine months ago. from getting excited about possibly becoming preg. and getting married. and getting a house in the country and he was going to work behind the house and own his own shop as a mechanic in sc or florida. Me i was going to be a nurse headstrong and finish my last three years of high school at home in a year and a half. and then go to nursing school. well then there was that horrible day i found out he cheated in june. after we had gone head first in getting through my parents,(they finally liked him and were letting me see him.) to starting getting intimate cuz i thought we'd get married any way (stupid me right) well now he cheated and i took him back. so now we might accually make we'd been through so much in 6 months if we could make it through that we can make it through anything right? WRONG! everything was great for 3 months.. yeah there were fights here and there and yeah he had a temper. but not untill aug. 28 did i find out how bad it could get. he had the day off that day and was going to a couple of job interveiws that morning and was coming to see me after. well i was babysitting 2 boys at the time and was tired so he decided to take us swimming and let me relax. well that day at the pool i remember thinking wow what a great dad he will make to our kids one day. he was wonderful with them. everything was finally right, perfect. well then we came home and while he was fixing my car he got a call and he said "hey, o i'm just fixing somebodys car right now.(he called me somebody, which is how i found out the first time he was cheating) so i asked him may i see your phone, the messages confirmed what i had thought, he was cheating again, how could he do this again.? after all the promises and things that we had been through together, i still wasn't enough. so i said i'm gonna call her and tell her what a pig you are and he went balistic. pushed me down and almost hit me. thats when i stood up and said we are over do not talk to me again. and slapped him and he left. i called debra imediantly to tell her what had happend ( she was the first girl he cheated on me with in june.) you know what she said, she said that he told her we were over 2 months earlier. and was having phone sex with her everynight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so it was all a lie, from what point i don't know.. maybe all of it was. its been 4 weeks six days 16 hours since this happend... so how do you go from having your whole life planned out to nothing... well i dont know but i did it. now my dad and i are worse than ever. my love life SUCKS. guys are pigs and they are all the same and will never EVER change. so girls quit wasting your time. then my social life down to a stub b/c HE became my life and i didn't care about anyone else really. execpt my church friends. and you know what they are CHURCH friends nobody really hangs out, outside of church we live too far away from one another.... and my school, i'm still home schooled. as for being a nurse... not sure... maybe.. maybe not.. had a car and i got in a car accident b/c i was so upset over darren my brain went on over load and i blacked out... don't remember a thing but it was my fault, my car is totaled so now i have no car. 16 years old life in shables | | |
| wow this year has gone by fast! i cant believe its almost over!!! heres something that happend! people friends: sarah, brittany, caitlin, darren, mike, alvin, adam, hillary, christian, mary jean, cameron.... friends you've lost: chance, michael taylor, rance new friends: darren, sarah, cailyn,... places went out of the country:nope moved:nope new school:went to highschool! rosa scott!! how many times on airplane:nope going over spring break tho you how you've changed:i got braces , and new hairstyles , and came alittle bit more out of my shell! new look:braces,hair depressed:lots this year! i went on alot of fun trips w/ the church this year and had alot of relationships and stuff that has happend that only made me stronger and i thank god that he put those things in my life for me to get over and make it through! i have also ( as u see up there) made alot of new friends.. sarah and brittany i dont think i could've made it through this year w/ out ya'll wow .. and brittany these past months we have gotten even closer! partners in crime..lol! i hope 2007 is good and 100x's better than this one for everyone!!! | | |
| i am sooo confussed i have never been more confussed in all my life! cameron and i are talking agian....... i dont know how it happend but we are and i dont know where its going or even if it will ever go anywhere agian... but i still like him! i guess u never stop loving ur first love....i've tried to convince myself and others that i don't anymore cuz i know that it will never work out between us agian but i realized that a little part of me still does! and plus he is getting all cocky cuz he thinks every girl likes him..... (why do i alwayz go for guys every girl wants and they alwayz are all cocky ex. MICHAEL, CAMERON, DARREN) then theres another guy (darren) in which he is a little old for me and he lives like 300 mi. away but he's about to move to louisianna ... in my eyes we are the perfect match like and i think if i told my friends everything we talk about and all the things we have in common they would think so too! but i dont see how the distance bewteen us and our ages is going to work! i'm trying to give this part of my life over to God and let him handle it.... but theres a part of me that want to handle it by myself........... and on top of that i;ve realized that i can't stay w/ a guy for more than a month cuz i'm scared he's gonna hurt me like everyother guy in my life has and i've traced it back to my father ... and now cuz of him i'm scared! and i don't wanna loose that guy but i think i have to cuz if i don't i will winde up getting hurt so i decide to hurt him before he gets the chance to hurt me.... ( i know it makes no since wat so ever and it really doesnt make since to me either) | | |
| i wrote another poem and i found one!! so i'm going to put the found one on here first okay..! this is called can't you see! (i'm not sure who this is about or when i wrote it but it was either a long time ago and about michael or recently about cameron!) locked in a tower and far away i never knew it would turn out this way. i thought it was love i thought it could be but you moving on and i'm stuch in this can't you see i loved you and i don't know why i need you and i want to cry who knew it would turn out like this i was w/ you this night ya'll kissed i love you but you can't see cuz you love her why not me. ok here is the other one! it's called "Not me" i wrote it last night it is exactly what i am feeling right now! i look in the mirror and what do i see i see someone i dont want to be where is that girl i used to know i'm becoming depressed and feeling low. i wish it would all go away i wish i could change the things i lack but this is life you can't take it back! Life is funny about that kinda thing it won't let you go back or change anything well i guess this is sorry to all the ones i've hurt so sorry everyone i'm back, the old me is in the dirt! so how were they.. i need some feed back cuz i am thinking of writing more poems and then turning into a book called "confessions of a teenage soul!" but i don't know if it will work..... we'll see.!
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